Avengers #7

FIRE AND BONE

Written by Jason Aaron
Penciled by Sara Picheli
Cover by Geoff Shaw
Published Sept 5, 2018

   One million years ago, a tiny cave boy lives among his ignorant peers. One day a white haired stranger shows up, and kills many in his clan just to let them know he’s their new boss. Able to speak with the boy, he tells him who he and the boy truly are - the world’s masters. But the boy’s lesson ends abruptly when the monster eats everyone else in his family, leaving him alone in the cold.

Thanks, scary hairy man. Now I'm solo.

   He crawls out in the snow and is soon found by a talking snake. Giving him the opportunity for redemption, he only need to speak the demon's name. But redemption quickly shifts to being cursed, as the very first Ghost Rider immediately seeks vengeance.

By the way, I'm bad ass now.

   Five years later, the stranger smells the boy approaching - now riding a flaming mammoth with his signature fiery skull face. They fight, but the very first Wendigo has grown stronger since their last encounter. The battle is epic but it ends sadly with the monster taking Ghost Rider's flaming mammoth friend down with him.

GREAT! THAT WAS MY ONLY FLAMING ELEPHANT!

   Afraid of being forever alone again, the Ghost Rider is soon joined by the first Phoenix and Odin, the Asguardian Thor. With that, the very first Avengers take shape. But what happens next will have to wait, as this issue is left to be continued.

"You looking to party?"

   You know, the coolest thing about comic books is that origin stories can be rewritten and re imagined by every writer assigned to them. Most times, it comes off as super lame. But with a skilled an amazing storyteller like Jason Aaron at the helm, you can suspend anything you know about a character's history. Because it's in great hands. I absolutely love where they're taking things here. I give this one a 9/10.

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X-Men Blue #36

SURVIVING THE EXPERIENCE, finale.

Written by Cullen Bunn
Penciled by Marcus To
Cover by RB Silva
Published September 26, 2018

   The time displaced X-Men meet up to discuss returning to the past, and for once they're all in agreement. But before they go, they had to New York to thwart Mojo TV, give their goodbyes to the Starjammers, and head to Madripoor to wrap up with the Raksha. Polaris and Danger offer their help by forming a brand new X-Men chapter, as Beast gives a farewell to the ominous Gazing Nightshade.

Well at least before y'all left, you gave us these sweet unis.

   They return to the mansion in New York and offer the mothervine mutants to Kitty, Storm and the X-Men Gold team. Later, Pickles bamfs Jean into the woods where an unsuspecting Cyclops awaits. And though it took 36 issues, the two heroes finally get their big make out moment.

Finally!

   The issue wraps with them all assembled before the time jumping platform, but breaking news out of DC reveals the return of Magneto and his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. With that, the X-Men decide to stick around a little bit longer - but this issue and series drifts to a bittersweet conclusion.

Not dedicated to Chris Claremont.

   So I'm convinced they canceled this series just because X-Men Gold was sooooo bad and they didn't want to hurt Marc Guggenheim's feelings. Back when Brian Michael Bendis brought this crew to the present almost 6 years ago, there's surely no way he thought they'd still be here. But Cullen Bunn managed to make lemonade out of the lemons, and what he gave us was a real, solid X-book. Hopefully his writing days with the children of the atom aren't all behind him, because he gave us some pretty good gems. I give this one a 9/10.

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X-Men Gold #36

FEARED AND HATED

Written by Marc Guggenheim
Penciled by Pere Perez
Cover by Phil Noto
Published September 19, 2018

   Kitty makes yet another call to Colossus, who's obviously still ignoring her. Meanwhile in the Danger Room, Prestige explains to Iceman why she changed her uniform. Suddenly they're interrupted by Nightcrawler, who has been sent to grab Rachel for a mission.

"Rachel! I've come to take you away from this terrible comic book. Follow MEEEEE!"

   Before leaving, Kitty and Storm talk. Then they head to New York to talk down a brand new mutant from killing everyone. Kitty manages to calm the boy, explaining that he's got the rest of his life ahead of him. But without warning, he's shot by an armed citizen with a handgun.

Just what this book needed.

   They whisk him away to the hospital where one doctor is afraid to work on the boy. Another woman comes forward and agrees to. The issue ends with them all waiting to see what happens. With that, this terrible X-Men book finally comes to a merciful end.

I'm pretty sure Chris Claremont turned down the dedication.

   Clearly Marc Guggenheim saved the worst for last. I don't even feel like rating this but if anything, it's about a 3/10.

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Daredevil #608

Written by Charles Soule

Penciled by Phil Noto
Cover by Phil Noto
Published Sept 12, 2018

   Matt Murdock's fake twin brother holds up Foggy demanding he call his old partner. The problem is that he calls Daredevil who smashes in the window. Mike demands his baton and takes Foggy away at gunpoint.

"Gimme one of dem cool sticks you got!"

   As the pretend twin and the lawyer ride around town, they're spotted by Bushwacker, who mistakenly believes killing them will be rewarded by the Kingpin. The car bursts into flames but when the criminal approaches them, Mike deploys the baton and they're able to escape.

Your brother Matt could have "seen" that coming a mile away.

   Finally the two brothers get a chance to meet up and talk. Frank McGee and Reader surveil them from afar, waiting on Matt's signal to erase the fake doppelganger. When he never gets the signal, he goes in but is stopped by Murdock. Mike then accuses them of setting him up. He runs away and heads straight to Mayor Wilson Fisk's office.

"Wait - Aren't you Vince D'anofrio?

   The issue wraps with him asking Fisk for work. Suspecting it's a ruse, the mayor sends him away, but he's later approached by Parker Robbins - aka The Hood. What does the villain have up his sleeve? We'll have to find out as this issue is left to be continued.

"Hi. I'm Little Red Riding Hood..."

   So I'm not sure when Daredevil is going to reboot past it's Legacy numbering but if I had to guess, it's somewhere around the corner. Therefore, enjoy Charles Soule on this book while you still can because what he and Phil Noto are putting together is stellar. I give this one an 8/10.

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Tony Stark: Iron Man #4

LOVE BYTES

Written by Dan Slott
Penciled by Valerio Schiti
Cover by Alexander Lozano
Published Oct 3, 2018

   As the Baintronics Make-A-Match dating app takes Stark Unlimited by storm, the employees seem to have been bitten by the love bug. Meanwhile, Tony links up with Jacosta's brain and has a stunning reaction. Luckily Janet Van Dyne is on the scene to distract him while Jacosta notices some anomalies.

Tony being inappropriate.

   Bethany notices realizes something is amiss in these new matches. She orders background checks which prompts the immediate end of a robotic hack. The news interrupts Tony and Janet's lunch date and the two Avengers leap into action.

A Vespa turns into that?!

   Back at HQ, everyone's matches have turned out to be killer robots. As the heroes blow them into oblivion, Jacosta explains they're machines with a glitch in their AI and begs them to stop. Tony takes a softer approach and the robots move to self destruct when suddenly he has an idea. He uploads his own dating profile and with the overload of matches, the robots give up.

Do that many people REALLY want to date Tony Stark?

   The issue wraps with Sunset Bain apologizing for the hack and Tony and Janet relaxing on the couch. With that this issue and quick little one shot story come to a conclusion.

Pimp Tony.

   With Dan Slott at the helm of this book, we already know he can't lose. Maybe it's true that Spider-Man losing his favorite writer may have spelled trouble for the webslinger, the shellhead clearly still operates at 100% with this creative team. I give this one a 10/10.

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Thor #5

OLD GODS

Written by Jason Aaron
Penciled by Christian Ward
Cover by Esad Ribic
Published Sept 19, 2018

   Years ago, Thor and Wolverine salute each other over drinks. Before long though, they're interrupted by an attempted robbery, one of which they make quick work of. But eons into the future, Thor the All Father meets up with Old Man Phoenix.

Doesn't look friendly, Odinson...

   Happy to see his friend after millions of years, they exchange quick pleasantries. Thor tells him about how he’s managed to re-ignite mudguard, aka Earth. The only problem is that these days, Wolverine is possessed by a Phoenix force bent on watching the universe die. Never to back down from a fight with friend or foe, All Father Thor brings down the thunder on his newest immortal enemy.

Ring the bell, sucka. It's on now!

   In time middle of their epic battle, we see a cameo starring Ego the living planet. Now consumed by the Necrosword (which by the way, was forged by Knull, God of the symbiotes which you can read all about by clicking the link right here), the planet is threatened by a tiny worm that he apparently can’t kill.

Loser.

   Meanwhile Thor and Logan throw down in an epic, fiery, universal battle. It almost ends with a Mjolnir-punctured Old Man Phoenix. But the monster will not die. Instead he crushes the last of what Thor can muster. And what is to happen to him, we’ll have to wait to see.

Well - this looks bad.

   The issue wraps with All Father Thor’s grandaughters preparing to face a new threat to new Midguard. A spaceship approaches and three ogrish monsters walk out. The girls make quick work of Fin Fang Foom - and whatever the rest of it’s minions are. But the threat appears to be much more dire. A new, cosmic Doctor Doom clad in Dr Strange garb floats down towards them. What’s gonna happen next? We’ll have to wait to find out as this issue is left to be continued.

Iron Man's enemy, FF's enemy, why not work him into this one too?

   Ok so this... THIS is every kind of Norse, ancient medieval wonders that could possibly grace the pages of a Thor book. Obviously to get super hardcore, Jason Aaron has to put his hero in the future. And in space. And fighting a Phoenix Wolverine. And you know what? That’s the super coolest! I really dig everything he’s been able to cram into these books so far and it’s only getting better. Where is this Thor been all my life? Who knows, but I’m sure glad I found it at this point. I give this issue a 10/10.

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Immortal Hulk #5

IN EVERY MIRROR

Written by Al Ewing
Penciled by Joe Bennett
Cover by Alex Ross
Published Sept 5, 2018

   Bruce Banner walks into the hospital to confront Sasquatch, but before he can get any answers, the monster slashes his throat. In response, he hulks out and the two of them trade blows. Before long though, Hulk hears a familiar voice.

It's a family affair!

   Inside Walter Langowski's radiated form, Bruce's father speaks from beyond. As the two of them throw each other through the walls, the hospital tries to hurriedly evacuate as Sasquatch puts the Hulk on the ropes.

Brutal.

   Eventually, Banner rages back - and pulls the beast towards him. As he makes it known that he eats gamma, the monster literally pulls Langowski's power out of him and absorbs it.

"HULK SPONGE!"

   The issue wraps with McGee asking Hulk how she can be a Hulk too... I think? I don't know. Either way, Banner walks away while the now powerless Walter Langowski ponders a life without his alter-ego. What's gonna happen next? We'll have to wait to find out as this story arc is concluded.

Did you miss me, sonny?

   One of the things I sincerely love about this new Hulk book is the fact it's always a nice and neat, concise story. Al Ewing makes sure to connect to a bigger picture, but giving us a simple story with this crisp Joe Bennett artwork doesn't give me a whole lot to complain about. Classic Hulk in a classic style, I give this one a 9/10.

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